Hey there. If you’re watching this in real time, you know, it’s the holidays and a very much needed time to talk about self care. But you know, any time is a good time. I’ve found that it’s so common for there to be a lack of encouragement and support in our families and cultures in learning to truly take care of ourselves. And so many of us end up as adults, like flames flailing around in our lives, really not feeling very good at all because we haven’t taken the time to learn how to care for ourselves.
Self care is not just massages and vacations. Self care is, it’s any practice, any practice or activity that meets your own needs so that you feel nourished. Self care is really about filling up our own energy tank so that we feel resourced to go back out and rise to the occasion of our lives and our relationships. So this asks us to get to know what drains our energy and what fills us up.
So this is a very personal process that we must embark on if we want to feel well. It is our personal responsibility to get to know our needs and how to meet them. So this is a really radical notion for many women because women are conditioned to be self-sacrificial caregivers, to put all others needs first, hoping there is a time later for themselves, but that later doesn’t usually come.
So it’s time to flip the script and prioritize caring for yourself so that you have the energy, the patience, the openness and the desire to really show up in the other areas of your life. So let’s talk specifics. Self care could be something that meets your physical needs like getting outside and breathing fresh air, or brushing your teeth, or going to bed at a time that allows you to get enough sleep for yourself.
It could be meeting an emotional need like going to therapy or cuddling with your dog when you’re anxious, or calling a trusted friend to help you talk through a scenario. It could be meeting a spiritual need like reading poetry or meditating. These are just examples and there are infinite more possibilities. And like I said, it’s a very personal process of learning self care for you. So when it comes to spending time with family during the holidays, I’ve found one essential piece of self care.
And this is what I call the adult timeout. This is permission to spend time alone so that you get to choose when you’re engaging with the family and when you have a little solo time to take a walk or go get a coffee or simply go in whatever room you’re staying in for 10 minutes or an hour and take an adult timeout nap, listen to music that you love or whatever makes you feel more grounded and ready to be with the family again.
Now comes the sticky part. You might not have any idea what you need to feel more resourced, or you might be unfamiliar with considering your own needs or that they exist at all. And if this is you, you are not alone. There are so many things that can block our ability to engage in self care, even if you technically know what is good for you. Our families and our culture really shape our relationships to our needs from a very young age.
Diet culture actively encourages us to detach from and deny our needs and disordered eating reinforces and entrenches our own separation from our needs and how to attend to them. So if you’re struggling with self care, there are resources for you. There is support and Food and Body Therapy is one resource. One way to look at Food and body therapy is that it is all about discovering and developing a personalized way of taking care of your body, mind, heart and spirit.
So thank you so much for watching this video and if you’re interested to learn more, you can peruse and just check out Food and Body Therapy. See what it’s all about and if it resonates with you. And I also have a free downloadable body image guide there that really the resources that are there are about self care. It’s about helping to relate to your body in a more caring way to really calm some of the judgmental noise that goes on in our heads about body image.
So check that out. It’s a free download on my website and if you’re on YouTube, subscribe and I will look forward to seeing you in the next video. In the meantime, have a wonderful holiday season. Bye.
